Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The Testing of Our Faith

We are home! After a week of adjustment to the time change and getting the kids back into a routine we are ready to dive into everything headfirst. God provided amazingly for our ministry needs and we are in awe of His goodness. I'll tell you more of the story if you would like later on.

When we first walked into the apartment Claire and Matthew ran to their room. They were thrilled with all the "new" yet familiar toys (not having their own toys for over three months makes them new again). They've had a blast discovering all their old toys. Claire is super excited to have a play date with her friend Josephine, and Matthew has loved all the little adventures we go on to the park and the grocery stores (a 2 year old boy can make anything an adventure). And Micah is finally home. There was a sense of clam when I stepped through our door with Micah. My 2 month old will finally have some consistency in his young life, and he is taking to it wonderfully. So far he is sleeping two 6 hour shifts at night time, and he goes to bed with the other two kids!


During the last 3 1/2 months our family's life has been full of those "testings". Given my personality and then adding it to wanting to come through these testings stronger in my walk with God; it was a struggle to know how exactly to react, in my weakness that is.

We went through 2 children in the hospital; a difficult time raising the funds needed for France; Jonathan's grandfather failing in health and all the difficulties surrounding it; traveling with 2 toddlers and a new baby; and then little everyday issues that would seemingly be the last straw on my emotions.

There were times I feel very strong, but then worried that I was leaning on my own strength. Then there were those times of being scared, and not knowing if I was trusting enough. Of course, I also had the times of numbness, feeling nothing and not knowing why. I have learnt that my emotions will go everywhere, but my constant must be the Solid Rock. Emotions are not wrong; however, it is how we act on those emotions that makes the difference. Do I let those emotions guide my thinking, or do I let my Provider know my heart and rely on His goodness? Right now, my plans and my thoughts seem best to me. But are they? Maybe they are and maybe not. If they do not match God's path; then they are not. God's path may be bumpy and hard. It may seem as though it drags us through the dessert and then pulls us up a rocky mountain, but we can always know it is for our good. In all of this I have found that all we can do is fall to our knees in prayer. I may not know what the future holds, but I do know that God has given us the Holy Spirit. I do know that the Holy Spirit aides our prayers with utterings that can not be uttered, and I do know that God listens.

The God of the universe listens. The God of the universe understands. The God of the universe works for my good.

Consider it all joy, y brethren, when you encounter various trials. Knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from where shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is you keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul. The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forever. Psalm 121

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